Duncan Nugget #72: What are you thoughts about...?

It is often beneficial to begin criticism or feedback with this question:

“What are your thoughts about ______________?”

The answer will give you insight into other person's perception of the situation. The person might even say some of the same things you were going to say. After all, we tend to critique ourselves harder than anyone else ever would.

Duncan Nugget #145: The New "Average"

How was the food? It was good.

How was the movie? It was good.

Can she sing? She's good.

Nowadays, good is not good enough.

Have you noticed that when people are truly impressed and they really like something they use words other than "good"? They say things like "really good", "soooo good", great, incredible, hot, amazing, exceptional, or "wow". Sometimes they make up words and phrases.

How was the food? It was Fi! (That's how young people in Atlanta say "fire".)

How was the movie? Oh my God! It was like totally awesome. 

Can she sing? She ain't no joke. She got mad skillz.

If you want to rise to the top in today's competitive market, you need to be more than good. A lot of people are good.

Good is the new “average”.

Million-Dollar Question:

What are you doing to be more 

memorable than "good"?

Starbucks Shared Planet Youth Action Grants

"The Starbucks Foundation will solicit applications from organizations that provide young people a continuum of services in developing creative approaches to address pressing concerns in their communities. Please complete a letter of inquiry for your organization. The Starbucks Foundation will contact you if we’d like to request a full grant proposal."

Starbucks Shared Planet Youth Action Grants

Youth Service America Grant Programs

"Youth Service America supports and motivates youth, educators, and service-learning coordinators by distributing over 400 micro grants each year for service and service-learning initiatives."

"While most of the grants support projects that culminate on Global Youth Service Day in April, funding is also available for projects in the fall."

YSA Grant Programs | YSA

$2000 Grants - Open Meadows Foundation

Open Meadows Foundation is a grant-making organization for projects that are led by and benefit women and girls, particularly those from vulnerable communities. Open Meadows Foundation funds projects that do not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, national origin, gender identity and expression, sexual identity and expression, age or ability. It offers grants up to $2000. For details visit the website. (DEADLINE: Feb. 15th)

Open Meadows Foundation

Duncan Nugget #62: How do you know when...?

A powerful question to ask, especially during an interview, is:

How do you know when you have the ideal person/product/service for this position/company?

Duncan Nugget #60: Living In High Definition

People act consistent with who they believe they are.

THINK about that.

If you define yourself as being exceptional then you act like it. If your self-definition is based on mediocrity then you act like it.

Exceptional individuals live in high definition. They have an accurate internal definition of who they are and what their purpose is.

An inaccurate self-definition will eventually lead to self-sabotage.

When you're confused about your behavior, figuring out your self-definition will help you pinpoint the cause and make sense of what's going on. It's hard to make lasting, positive changes and maximize potential when you don't have a clear understanding of how you define yourself.

Million-Dollar Question: 

How do you truly define yourself and 

who or what influenced your definition?

Roosevelt Institute - Summer Academy

The Roosevelt Summer Academy combines a full-time internship with a training curriculum and weekly networking events as part of an integrated program of leadership development. Our objective is to bring new, diverse, and progressive voices into the political process. The program runs for ten weeks, from June 3rd to August 12th, 2010.

DEADLINE TO APPLY IS FEBRUARY 26th, 2010.

Summer Academy | Roosevelt Institute

Girls Going Places® - $30,000 In Prizes for Teen Girl Entrepreneurs

Guardian Life Insurance Company of America announces Final Call for 2010 Nominations for Girls Going Places® Program

"This annual Guardian initiative is designed to reward the enterprising spirits of girls ages 12 to 18. Guardian awards prizes to 15 girls who demonstrate budding entrepreneurship; are taking the first steps toward financial independence; and are making a difference in their schools and communities. Every year, prizes totaling $30,000 are granted to three top winners and 12 finalists to further their entrepreneurial pursuits or save for college."

Program details and nomination forms for the competition can be found at www.girlsgoingplaces.com and online at YouTube, MySpace and Facebook (Keyword: GirlsGoingPlaces).

Duncan Nugget #54: Mentally Bankrupt

There is a high price to pay for achievement and fulfillment. Unfortunately, most individuals are mentally bankrupt or too cheap to pay it.

Million-Dollar Question:

How is your mental bank account 

looking these days?

Duncan Nugget #37: The Anatomy of a Threat

Did you know that your body responds to an attack on your character, beliefs, or anything you perceive to be valuable, in the same manner it does to physical threats?

The same system (Flight or Fight Response) that takes over your body during a physical threat, wants to take over during an emotional or mental threat.

You were originally designed for survival, not diplomacy.

That's why emotional mastery is challenging. When you feel disrespected, embarrassed, or anything along those lines Flight or Fight Response is ready to take over.

The good news is, just like warriors can train themselves to effectively deal with physical threats, you can train yourself to effectively deal with mental and emotional threats.

How?

It starts with awareness and acknowledgment. It's mastered with diligence and the self-discipline to work on your Emotional Intelligence as well as your communication and conflict resolution skills.
 
Suggested Reading:
Taming the Beast: 9 Keys for Mastering Your Anger (Free E-book)
Emotions and Your Health: Anger
With Friends Like These

Duncan Nugget #131: Personal Branding Starts on the Inside

It’s a crazy, competitive world. So, in order to compete, people are mad busy getting their resumes together; getting their blog, twitter, and facebook page together; getting their wardrobe together.

That's cool but...

Pause for a second.

Get your SELF together first and everything else will begin to fall in place because self-development is the foundation of success.

What's in your life is a projection of what's in you.

Million-Dollar Question:

What does your personal brand 

look like from the inside-out?

Duncan Nugget #156: They Never Listen

Don't they get on your nerves? They never listen. You try to say things in a different way. You try to explain yourself clearly. You try to have patience, but none of that seems to work because they just don't listen.

Who are "they"?

If you're a parent, they are you kids.

If you're teen, they are your parents.

If you're a student, they are your teachers and professors.

If you're an educator, they are your students.

If you're the boss, they are your employees.

If you're an employee, they are your supervisors.

If you're a woman, they are men.

If you're a man, they are women.

If you're smart, they are idiots.

According to those nine statements, NOBODY listens. And it's always "their" fault. Interesting.

Million-Dollar Question:

Do YOU really listen or are you one of "them"?

Raising kids may lower blood pressure?!?!

I know quite a few parents who would laugh uncontrollably—while taking a blood pressure pill or having a drink—if someone told them that their kids are lowering their blood pressure. But according to this article it might be true. LOL

Raising kids may lower blood pressure

Duncan Nugget #91: A Perpetual Process

Self-improvement is a perpetual process.

If you want to get better the process never stops. In life you are either growing or rotting; you’re rising or falling.

You're rising to the challenge, or falling prey to your circumstances.

You're rising with good financial principles  or falling further into debt.

You're rising on the wings of love or falling into the bottomless pit of hatred.

Million-Dollar Question:

What are you doing to continuously get better?
 

Duncan Nugget #502: The Unstoppable 5%

Statistics show that 95% of the people who make New Year's Resolutions give up on them by January 15th? Not cool.

Million-Dollar Question:

Are you part of the 95% or 

the unstoppable 5%?

Duncan Nugget #163: The Difference Between a Hero and a Coward

The difference between the hero and the coward is not the lack of fear. It’s the lack of action.

The difference between someone who is making a difference and someone who is merely a bystander is not the lack of fear. It's the lack of action.

Everyone from heroes to cowards; from difference-makers to bystanders experience the same emotions of doubt, anxiety, and worry. Everyone has problems and issues—some greater than others.

But when they are your problems and fears they can seem greater and more stressful than others because...they're YOURS. Difference-makers, however, refuse to allow any of those things to keep them from taking action. Cowards and bystanders don't even know the meaning of action.

Million-Dollar Question:

What's keeping you from taking action?

Haiti Relief - Ground Zero

Here is a list of organizations ON THE GROUND in Haiti. (Courtesy of the Regional Council of Churches of Atlanta, Inc.)

American Red Cross
American Red Cross has pledged an initial $10 million to Haiti relief... read more and find out how to send a $10 donation by texting ‘Haiti’ to 90999. A local volunteer from Marietta is part of the International Response Team. She is on the ground right now and will be featured on Channel 2 at 5 PM or 6 PM today. She will also air live tonight on WXIA Channel 11 during the Red Cross Haiti Relief Phone-a-thon between the hours of 5:30 PM and 8 PM.

Baptist World Aid
BWA is working through its member bodies in Haiti and with international rescue teams. Haitian Baptists are in country, know the situation, have a local network of churches and can respond. Rescue teams are enroute to Haiti on Wednesday morning and will coordinate with relief efforts on the ground.

AtlantaCare
CARE has deployed emergency team members to the devastated city of Port-au-Prince in Haiti. CARE has launched an international appeal for funds for Haiti that will support immediate emergency operations. CARE plans to start food distribution using stocks of high-protein biscuits from its warehouses in Haiti. CARE is coordinating with other U.N. agencies and aid organizations to assess damage and on-the-ground needs.

Catholic Relief Services
Catholic Relief Services staff in Haiti is responding immediately to the earthquake that rocked Port -au- Prince, the capital of Haiti. Tuesday night the agency made an immediate commitment of $ 5 million for emergency supplies.

Church of the Brethren
All gifts will be used for emergency disaster response in Haiti and will be coordinated through Brethren Disaster Ministries.

Church World Services
Humanitarian agency Church World Service reports it is sending initial funding to its local partners in the country and is prepared to provide CWS Kits and CWS Blankets to people in need.

Doctors Without Borders
Your gift will support emergency medical care for the men, women, and children affected by the earthquake in Haiti.

Episcopal Relief and Development
Episcopal Relief & Development is on the ground in Haiti where there is a large Episcopal presence and providing critical support in the aftermath of a 7.0-magnitude earthquake.

International Rescue Committee
One of the first to respond, one of the last to leave. For 75 years, the International Rescue Committee has been a leader in humanitarian relief. The IRC is responding to the major earthquake that devastated Haiti’s capital on January 12. Your donation will help the IRC work with partners on the ground in Haiti to rescue lives.


Jewish World Service
AJWS is collecting donations in response to Tuesday's massive earthquake in Haiti, which registered a 7.0 on the Richter scale. Donations to AJWS's "Haiti Earthquake Relief Fund" will enable AJWS's network of grantees in Haiti to meet the urgent needs of the population based on real-time, on-the-ground assessments.


Lutheran World Relief
Lutheran World Relief is responding to the affected communities through its partners on the ground in Haiti.

OXFAM
Oxfam has a staff of about 200 people on the ground in Haiti and a team of 15 highly-experienced emergency specialists based in the capital will be responding with public health, water and sanitation services to prevent the spread of waterborne disease.

Partners in Health
Partners in Health and its partner organization Zanmi Lasante has worked in Haiti for nearly twenty-five years, and today is one of the largest non-governmental health care providers in the country. More than 120 doctors and nearly 500 nurses and nursing assistants.


The Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)
PCUSA is responding to this earthquake through Presbyterian Disaster Assistance and its partners. Funds from One Great Hour of Sharing are already helping with the initial response. Your help is needed.

UNICEF
UNICEF's disaster relief response, coordinated with other UN agencies and the International Red Cross and Red Crescent, is aimed at the children and women, who are the most vulnerable in times of crisis. Children under 18 make up nearly 50 percent of the 10 million population of Haiti.

United Church of Christ
The United Church of Christ has launched an emergency appeal for Haiti after a major earthquake struck the country. Thousands of people are feared dead and countless have been left homeless.

The United Methodist Committee on Relief
UMCOR has close ties with the Methodist Church in Haiti and is responding to the devastating earthquake with funding, material resources and prayers. ifts to support UMCOR's Haiti Relief efforts can be made to Haiti Emergency, UMCOR Advance #418325. Checks can be made to UMCOR with Advance #418325 Haiti Emergency in the memo line. Checks can be put in the church's offering plate or mailed to UMCOR, PO Box 9068, New York, NY 10087

World Food Programme
The people of Haiti need food assistance as quickly as possible to prevent hunger worsening the misery already caused by the disaster.

Duncan Nugget #92: Real Education

Education is about more than cramming knowledge into a person’s head. (That includes yours.) 

If you examined the etymology of the word educate you would find that it leads to the Latin word educare—"to rear" or "to bring up."

In other words, education isn't always about putting something new in you. It's about rearing, bringing up, or developing that which is inside.

Million-Dollar Question: 

What are you doing to "bring up" 

the best in you and others?

Duncan Nugget #81: The Root of Fear

Many times, what you say you’re afraid of is just a cover-up for a deeper fear.

People say they’re afraid of public speaking, but what they are really afraid of is embarrassment or ridicule.

People say they're afraid of commitment, but what they are really afraid of is being hurt.

People say they're afraid of all kinds of things, but when you dig a little deeper the true source of their fear becomes apparent. The good thing about getting down to the root of your fear is that you can finally figure out how to conquer it.

Million-Dollar Question: 
What is the REAL source of your fear?

Duncan Nugget #98: Money Makes You More...

Money tends to make you more of what you already are. 

Think about that.

Partying becomes more partying. Investing becomes more investing. Greedy becomes greedier. Caring becomes philanthropic. The giver gives more. The idiot becomes a rich idiot. (Soon to be a broke idiot unless some changes are made.)

Even when it seems like money has changed a person, it didn't. It just revealed who she really is.

While you're working on improving your bank account, be sure to keep working on YOU.

Million-Dollar Question:

Are you chasing improvement as 

much as you chase money?

The Hunt for Respect

Consciously or unconsciously, everybody is on the hunt for respect. With respect comes power and influence. That's easy to see. Respect is at the core of communication and motivation. That's harder to see.

If you are communicating with somebody, especially a teenager, and he doesn't believe that you respect him, he doesn't hear you. If you're trying get somebody motivated and he doesn't believe you respect him, he won't be motivated. (Well, maybe he's motivated to get away from you.)


GIVE IT AND YOU'LL GET IT?

I'm sure you know that respecting somebody doesn't guarantee that he'll respect you in return. He may not even believe that you respect him. This is frustrating and baffling to parents, educators, and leaders from all walks of life. Nevertheless, respect is a crucial component of good communication.

Duncan Nugget #86:   
People on BOTH sides of the equation have to feel respected or things will get ugly in a hurry.

When I'm talking to older folks I remind them that a lot of the perplexing, defiant behavior young people exhibit boils down to the hunt for respect.

When I'm talking to young folks I remind them that a lot of the overbearing, dictatorial behavior older people exhibit boils down to the hunt for respect.

If a person that's on the hunt for respect gets it from you and they respect you in return, it's easier to open the channels of communication and you will have a much better chance of influencing them.


HOW TO DEFINE RESPECT

If you want to master this whole concept of respect it starts with patiently and diligently exploring how the other person defines respect. It means something different to everybody.

Million-Dollar Question: 

How do you know when somebody respects you?

Not only is that a question you want to ask yourself, but it's also a great question to ask other people. The answer will provide valuable insight into the thought process behind the other person's the behavior and yours. It tells you how to help people (that includes you) get what they are hunting for.


RANDOM ACTS OF CRAZINESS

Duncan Nugget #88:  

People are known to perform random 
acts of craziness just to get a little bit of 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Think about some of the crazy things people do while on the hunt for respect. 

Lying about how much money you make...

Snapping on mom...

Buying a car you can't afford...

Cursing out your boss when you don't have another job lined up...

The hunt for respect is laced with craziness. Even when it comes to various aspects of youth violence, research shows that "some teenagers who are popular among their peers use relational violence in order to maintain and improve their reputation in their peer group." They're on the hunt for respect.

That's why people should clearly define what respect means to them. Once the definition is clear then you can retire the craziness and find other ways to earn respect.


THE NITTY GRITTY

People constantly hunt for respect because it's a psychological human need. It increases a person's self-confidence and self-esteem. It helps people feel like they"belong"; it helps them feel significant.

When they come looking for respect, if you give it to them, you'll have a better chance of being able to influence them. (Hopefully, you'll use that influence in a positive way.)

Duncan Nugget #89  
Regardless of age, race, gender, or beliefs, 
if you want to maximize motivation and 

facilitate effective communication 

it starts with respect.

All-Expenses Paid Journalism Program at Princeton

A good friend of mine just sent me an email about an outstanding opportunity for students.

"We welcome about 20 high school students from low-income backgrounds every summer to Princeton's campus for an intensive, 10-day seminar on journalism. The program's goal is to diversify college and professional newsrooms by encouraging outstanding students from low-income backgrounds to pursue careers in journalism. All expenses, including students' travel costs to and from Princeton, are paid for by the program."

Summer Journalism Program: The Princeton University Summer Journalism Program

Duncan Nugget #34: Your Undivided Attention

Undivided attention.

That's a hard to thing to give and an even harder thing to get.

There is hardly enough time in the day to pay attention to your stuff, let alone somebody else's, right? Everybody feels the same way you do and that's exactly why undivided attention is priceless.

From leadership to education to parenting; from entrepreneurship to marketing to sales, giving and getting undivided attention is a vital aspect of success. It strengthens relationships and helps businesses grow. It's an indication of gaining (or the threat of loosing) something of perceived value. Think about that.

When you respect the value of people you give them your undivided attention. And your network grows.

When you give value to people they give you their undivided attention. And your net worth grows. 

Million-Dollar Question:

How often do you get and give undivided attention?

People, Especially Gen Y, Hate Their Jobs

According to a report by Conference Board, Americans, young and old, hate their jobs. This is a sad state of affairs.

I guess employers need to do better, huh? Maybe. But one of the main tenets of self-help and personal development is "Thou shalt pursue your passion and love what you do." If you hate your job, remember...

Duncan Nugget #38: 

It's your life. 

Do something about it.

Check out a good article about the report at CollegeRecruiter.com:
Americans Hate Their Jobs and Gen Y Hates Their Jobs the Most

Duncan Nugget #350: What You Don't Want

Your mind cannot directly process a negative.

When told not to do something, your mind has to picture doing it first before it can process not doing it. I'll prove it to you.

Don't think about your favorite color.

Don't think about relaxing on the beach on a perfect day.

Don't think about a pink elephant with blue polka dots and green wings.

Do you see what just happened? Even if it was only for a split second, you thought about each of those things because your mind processes information using images.

Since your unconscious mind does not distinguish between reality and imagination, if you are thinking "I don't want to fail this test" then you briefly experience failing the test. Not cool.

Work on telling yourself (and other people) what you WANT to happen.

Million-Dollar Question:

Are you focused on what you want

or what you don't want?

Adam Fletcher - Youth Voice Champion

Adam Fletcher (@bicyclingfish) is the founder of The Freechild Project, an organization that works to promote young people and social change world wide. Adam is a true champion of Youth Voice and Youth Rights. He's one of the coolest and most dedicated people I've "met" (via Facebook) in the world of youth development.

Adam blogs at YoungerWorld.org. Check out these links:

Recent blog post:
Youth and the Power to Change

Cool article on FreeChild.org:
Ephebiphobia - The Extreme Fear of Youth

Duncan Nugget #198: On Your Head or In It?

"Mr. Duncan, this is crazy! My biochemistry book costs $120!"

"Didn't you just get your hair done for $125?"

"Yeah."

"So, it's cool to spend that kind of cash on the outside of your head, but not on the inside?"

"I never looked at it like that, but real talk, Mr. Duncan, I gotta get my hair done."

—conversation between Al Duncan and a college student

What's in your head (and heart) determines what's in your life.

Nice hats, expensive sunglasses, earrings, haircuts, and hairdos cost you thousands of dollars. A book on personal or professional development would cost you $25 and could help you make thousands, maybe millions, of dollars.

There's nothing wrong with taking care of the outside of your head, but take care of the inside too.

Million-Dollar Question:

Do you spend more time, money, and 

energy on the outside or inside of your head?

Duncan Nugget #82: A Warped Sense of Reality?

Have you ever noticed that regardless of the problems or conflicts that show up in your life there is one thing that remains constant? There is one thing that is ALWAYS there.

YOU. 

A vital component of effectively dealing with conflict, challenges, and difficult people is to be able to determine what YOU contributed to the situation. After all, anybody can be somebody else’s difficult person. Think about that.

I know...I know. It's not all your fault, right? Of course not, but it is your life. A lot of times conflicts are easier to resolve and problems are easier to solve when you start by looking in the mirror. 

Accurate self-assessment is a powerful tool that keeps you from having a warped sense of reality. It helps facilitate change because when you change, things tend to change.

Million-Dollar Question:

What have you contributed to the situation?

$1000 Scholarships from Burger King®

The Burger King® Scholars Program is awarding $1000 scholarships to students. "To date, more than $12.7 million in scholarships have been awarded to high school seniors in the United States, Canada and Puerto Rico." Click here for details.

Hispanic Youth Institute: The 2010 Hispanic Youth Symposium

The 2010 Hispanic Youth Symposium, the summer kick-off for the Hispanic Youth Institute, is now accepting applications. HYI inspires Hispanic high school students to achieve a college education, pursue a professional career, and invest in the community as volunteers and leaders. 

Hispanic Youth Institute

Mentoring

Hey! Remember...January is National Mentoring Month

Duncan Nugget #59: From Wanting to Having

People spend a good deal of time—especially around the beginning of a new year—writing and talking about what they want. I guess that's called goal-setting (wanting), but it's not goal achievement (having).

What's the difference between "wanting" and "having"?

Doing.

You'll accomplish more when you change your focus from from what you want to what you will do to get what you want.

It's good to vividly envision your goals. It's more productive, however, to concentrate on action steps that will make them come to fruition. It has never been about what you want. You don't get what you "want", you get what you "do". So...  

Learn from the past. Plan for the future. Take action—now!

Keep the "doing" locked in your mind and you'll spend more time "having" and less time "wanting".

Million-Dollar Question:

What will you do (right now)
to get what you want?